Jazzy My Jazzy

Jazzy  

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I would walk through my garden forever."

Alfred LordTennison

Before I continue to write, you must know that I am a sentimental slob of a human.  For all the toughness and confidence that I exude in my day-to-day life and working with women with addictions, it doesn't take much to make me cry. And, over some things, I can't even try not to..I just sob. So, when I say I cried over my dog, Jazzy, I sobbed ... uncontrollably.

Death is the other side of life, I get that. I get the saying I use, Life on Life's Terms. But once in a while, I want to ask the Heavens, "Why?" Some would argue that by asking, I am not strong enough in my faith to accept.  I would argue, I am human and every once in awhile, I need to fulfill the need to ask ... WHY? So, when Jazzy was diagnosed with Cushings, I shook my fist at the heavens and asked, "WHY HER?"

Jazzy came into my life as a three month old pet-quality Standard Poodle. She came with limited papers which means in the AKC world, if she had puppies, they could not be registered.  I was perfectly OK with that.  I didn't buy her to breed her and I  had her spayed. I bought her because I wanted a Standard Poodle. To be specific:  a black female. That's what I got. Well...technically she was Blue...but she looked black.  What I didn't know was just how very special she would become. Why...did I ever think she would not?

First photo of me and Jazzy, April 2001. Backyard at Battleground house.

I have  many, many photos of Jazzy, bu this is one of my favorite unposed pictures of her. The Big Snow of 2008. We were at the Hockinson Middle School in a big field where I could let the dogs run.  In this picture, Jazzy has spotted my grandkids playing.

Jazzy at her second dog show looking a big pensive; 2006.

Little did I know when she came home with me from Hood River, Oregon, in the spring of 2001 how much she would teach me about being a human and about dogs. She opened a new world for me that I lost when horses left my life. She let me knock on that competitive door and say, "Here I am; teach me." She let me meet people far and wide who would stand on the side of the ring and cheer us and tell us how good she looked - how happy she was in the ring, and what a good team we were becoming. She allowed me to believe in myself again. She gave me courage to face a challenge and learn how to overcome my fears as the human part of a team in the show ring. She did all of this, even though she was in her way, very shy.  Jazzy rebuilt my desire to learn everything I could possibly put into my head about training and living with dogs. She reminded me every day what a joy and blessing it was to play:  throw a ball, take long walks in the beautiful NW, wade through creeks that were swollen with rain and to jump in the ocean and catch a wave. She and I did all of this side by side.

Our first AKC title: Rally Novice. We were so new to dog showing, but she came through her first title like the dignified and "lady" that she was.  I could see at this show that her shyness, although still a part of her basic personality, was not as prominent.

Our second AKC Title: Rally Advanced. She finished this title with a perfect 100 score in an outside arena. Fans of her told me she was "on fire" in the class and had never looked better.

Jazzy and I entered the big Portland, OR show in January 2009. She completed her AKC Rally Excellent title and then she was named High In Trial Poodle (performance classes), for the show! She amassed a total Rally Excellent points of 99 on Friday, 98 on Saturday and a perfect 100 on Sunday.  

In 2010, I wanted to see if me and Jazzy could get close to repeating our High in Trial at the big Portland Rose Show. DOUBLE WOW!!!!  The people along side the ring said she was "ON FIRE" during her classes. She was so happy and eager to be in the ring that I knew in every class we entered, I was a part of something very special. We amassed perfect scores of 100 in each of our classes ON Friday, Saturday and Sunday and were again the High in Trial for Poodles and 4th overall for performance points against all breeds!It will forever be etched in my memory when she was announced for the second year in a row: POODLE HIGH IN TRIAL!!!  I retired her after this huge accomplishment.

She and I were companions until September 15, 2014 when after 4 months of steady decline of her health, I made the difficult, but humane decision, to let her go.

Go where - across that Rainbow Bridge that we "pet" owners refer to as Pet Heaven? Where? I believe there is a Heaven or Heavens for all of God's creations which includes dogs, cats, birds, horses, etc. and if we are lucky...we get to go there, too. Across that Rainbow Bridge I have sent so many beloved companions in the animal world; but none more precious than my beloved GF (Gemini Farms) Jazmine Moon, AKA, Jazzy.  I believe I will see her again. I have the HOPE.

It took me over a month to determine how to pay tribute to her...her memorial for me. And then it happened.  An artist posted on a Facebook page that I had "liked" and I knew I wanted her to create a painting of me and Jazzy together.

"Walkies" Time

The artist, Dorota Kudyba, created the painting from two picture of me and Jazzy. She compiled to separate pictures of us into this one beautiful picture. When I opened the digital file and saw the picture, I sobbed for her all over again. There we were together in our back yard in Battleground, WA in my favorite time of the year, Fall. It was us.  It is us.  It is a lasting tribute to her and to me captured forever in the Northwest Fall.

Her urn was created by Over the Rainbow Memorials in Montanta

The Urn includes a heart shaped pendant with a few of her ashes swirled into the colors.  I can remove it and wear it... so far, I've not done that.  I'm not adverse to wearing it, I just don't want to break it. It also includes a copper nameplate with her name on it as well as a pretty ring that holds the locket and name plate with the beautiful beaded chain.

I agonized over how to memorialize her and felt that this delicate hand-blown glass urn in the beautiful golds, blacks and browns is perfect.  I chose the locket in colors that reminded me of the Northwest where we spent most of her life.  I look at it everyday and am  reminded just how very special she was.

For any of you reading this, who have been the human companions with wonderful, God created Dogs, I applaud your commitment to care for, love and cherish each moment with them. And, I hope that someday, we can all be the humans our dogs think we are. And for a brief moment in time on this big blue planet where we really are all connected, we were touched by something very special:  our dogs.

"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched;

they must be felt with the heart."  Helen Keller