...should I start a podcast?

Ha!  I was told by a few people this past year that I had a lot to say and therefore should consider starting a podcast. Say WHAT? I do like to hear myself talk, but is what I am listening to really very good to hear? Does my rambling have merit? And, finally, would anyone care?

I thought about it.  I thought:  What would I call it? Would I have a "theme?" What would I need to start a podcast? And...how often would I cast the pod into the world?  Well, it was way too many questions to answer all at once, so I quit thinking about it.  Now, after considerable time has passed, I am once again thinking...about it. Here's what I think.

I'm not a fashionista and could care less about being fashion-forward.  Heck, I barely like clothes so that leaves fashion out.  Makeup?  Who cares if you wear it or not; so not a fashion pod.  Advise to the love lorn?  Nah.  Where did those revelations lead?  I'll tell ya.  You ready?  Well...no, I don't want to let the title out of the bag until I am ready to go-live.

So, maybe I do have a lot to say and if I think about it, maybe it will even be a bit intelligent. At any rate, I am going to blog and pod my way through the universe.

What is ....title deleted...?  It's exactly as it is stated.  I get to ramble about what interests me in the universe and in life.  Now, I may select material from others and if I do so, I will pay homage to them; I'm not a thief, afterall. But, sometimes, what I hear or see from others is just better than anything I could come up with.  I will add my own take on their work and hopefully, if the borrowed thoughts are not proprietary, and I use them..they will be enriched by my spin. Who knows, right?

When will this casting of said pod take place?  It's now the middle of September 2019 and I must wait until I do more research on equipment and then save the $$ to purchase.  I'm making an educated guess of January. Although, I may ask for some "stuff" for Christmas. Dunno. Give me a few weeks and I'll get it sorted out.  In the meantime, have a great day.

...finding Gibbs August 2018

After I returned from Italy and after John's memorial service, Tyler and I had to put Marley down.  He was suffering from a brain lesion.  He had, very quickly, gone downhill and letting him go across the Rainbow Bridge was hard; but necessary.  I grieved for him for days.  I found myself crying when I thought of him and knew that I was probably transferring my loss of John emotions onto Marley.  Oh, I cried for John, but I kept it in check.  Now, with Marley gone, I let loose with gigantic sobs that wracked my body from head to toe.  After sobbing so hard for lengths of time, my entire body was  tired and I would lie on my bed with Tucker and wonder how life got so F*d up.

Dogs have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  It was rare when I had just 1 dog and I wanted another Standard Poodle.  Money is always a concern and spending $2000+ on a puppy wasn't in my budget.  I decided to try to adopt.

I began trolling various Standard Poodle sights for adoptive dogs, but didn't find any that met the criteria I had in my head.  Voila!  After searching an adoption site, a link took me to a Standard Poodle adopt/re-home facebook page.  I entered my information to become a member and then entered the information about the Spoo I was looking for as well as the city area I live in.

One day later, a lady private messaged me with information about a Spoo she had to rehome.  She lived less than 10 miles from me. She sent me pictures of 2 Spoos:  1 beautiful apricot and 1 (be still my heart) a parti-color - black and white.  Gently, I asked which dog? The parti was her response.

Truth be known, I would have bee interested in the apricot as well. But, another parti would be like having Tucker twins!

My two absolutely gorgeous, always happy Spoos! Tucker on the left and newly adopted Gibbs on the right. They make my heart sing!

I think i'm moving on...but..let me check my moving-on-button and let you know...

Italy did not start out very good for me.  I kept up a happy face for me and for Linda, but I knew that I had told my family that my feet had touched down.  I knew that that was the signal to John that I was OK and he could go...pass...die..and so he did.

Our sons, and dogs were there and I was not.  Our good friends, the Martins' were there, and I was not. When I got the news, we were in Rome, the first of our destinations.  Tyler said John had gotten up the day I landed in Rome, he watched a movie, The Black Panther, he had a cup of coffee, wanted to see the outside sunshine, he wanted the dogs close. Then he simply said he was tired and wanted to go.  He told them he was happy I was in Italy and then he slipped into sleep and took his last breath the next afternoon. After hearing the news, I cried and let Linda just comfort me as only a very good friend can do.

Italy became wonderful when I was reminded by family and friends who knew us and me best:  this is what John wanted.  I struggled with this for a very long time, but have learned the truth and the totally unselfish act of John wanting me to be in Italy. Am I totally OK with it?  No; but I'm getting to the place that wherever I am suppose to be.

Home after 21 days.  The house is quiet, all rooms are normal, hospice things gone.  It's like John's illness never happened.  I'm not sure how to take it. But, I have to get back into life and get through the next few weeks and his memorial service.

Marley is sick. The day after I get home, Tyler and I took Marley in to go across that Rainbow Bridge into the place in Heaven where dogs go.  Jeesh....Tyler said too much death and took some time off and went to Dallas. Can I go, too?  Jeff keeps his head down and marches forth.  I find myself sitting on the bathroom floor with the cabinet doors open looking at medicine, et al...various John sick stuff. I sit there with Tucker and cry. Then I lay on the floor with my arms around Tucker and ... cry. Then I go grocery shopping and then I eat.  I eat lots. I go to work...people, some of them, are kind, some ignore me.  Jeesh.

Tucker and Marley

Writing this after the fact, almost a year later, I wonder how I managed to get anything done. Did the 3 weeks in Italy help me prepare?  I think so.  Jeff and Tyler and the Martins did all of the work and I am grateful. John's ashes were even home in the beautiful "family" urn. Now, I have 5 urns:  Jazzy, Riff, Ira, Marley and John. Somewhere out of this, I find some humor. John is residing in the same urn as my ex-husband, Bob.  John knew that's where he was going to be and he loved it!

John's service.  Not a blur.  Many hands made it a memorable day.  Many family members came and stayed.  Many friends flew in to honor John. Food, memories, laughter and much love and we made it a good few days.

Tegan, Dani, Erin hugging Makenna

Tegan with Buddy the Rat and Makenna

Tyler the Dad with his wonderful...kids my grandkids:  Eli and Lizzy and Tucker!

Hanging out with Uncle Jeff

My BFF Sister-in-law, Patti.  I couldn't have made it without her!

2018 he did it his way....

The Broadway play and movie, Rent, has a song in it that resonates ...Seasons of Love.  How do I tell John's story in this blog?  How do I tell you, if anyone is out there reading, how John chose to die? First, I need to tell you that he detested the touchy-feeling way of saying someone died by saying...they ... passed.  No, he use to say, they died. But, as his time became shorter and shorter on earth, he wrote one day on his tablet, that he thought passing was OK to use.  He wrote, that he was soon going to pass.  I looked at him and asked..."Where are you going?"

Me and My John before the ugliness of cancer,

In January 2018, I called our youngest son, Tyler and asked him to come home; he was living in Camas, WA. I needed his help with John and he needed to be close to his dad, me and Jeff during this time.  He was a blessing as both Jeff and I continued to work, Tyler took John to appointments, got his food ready for him and got him up into the walker and chairs.

By March and as a family, we met in John's Oncologist office and discussed the decision to discontinue chemo treatments.  I sat there thinking, I'm giving up on my husband's life. It seemed so surreal. But, he simply could not continue with chemo - it kicked has ass.  The next few months were spent in and out of the ER with various life-threatening issues common to end of life cancer patients.

His surgeon called me after visiting him in the ER and after having taken scans. The news was very grim, but he wanted me to know so we, as a family could tell John what to expect. The 4 of us sat in the living room and after hearing the grim details of the tumor progression, John said he was done. He wanted Hospice.

There were so many awful things that occurred that my soul-mate, my John endured toward the end that to describe them now would only be morbid. He was without his dignity and that really bugged him. We were all tired of seeing John slip further away, but that's what families do...they care for each other in good and in ugly and cancer is UGLY.

Back chaining: Italy May 2018.  My good friend and I had been planning a three week trip to Italy for almost 2 years. I said I needed to cancel. She understood, John did not.  In fact, he was furious, when I told him I was going to cancel.

I sat on the side of his Hospice bed and he wrote that he wanted me to go to Italy and that it would make him happy to know I was there when he died. SAY WHAT? After much arguing as to why I should stay and be with him, he looked me square in the eyes and said, reading lips, go to the bathroom and then wait a few seconds and then come out.  OK...when I came out, he was playing dead..which I didn't think was very funny.  He opened his eyes and said, "See, you could take a big old dump and I could be dead when you are done. Go to Italy."  He finished the conversation by saying, he wanted his sons and his two close friends, John and David Martin to be with him..he didn't want me to see him dead. He then said, I need to know that you know what to do when I die, so get the stuff together in a book and let me look at it.  OK. 

I gathered all the information he told me to gather, put it into a 3 ring binder with tabs, called the book: THE BOOK and handed it to him. It passed muster and he said, "Good."

I tried cancelling Italy two more times and each time, I was thwarted very angrily by John, Jeff and Tyler.  I didn't get it.

Three days before I was to leave, he said that he was going to die as soon as I got to Italy and he knew my feet had touched the ground.  He told me that he didn't want to live to have the tumor progress and that he was ready to "pass" into the Kingdom of God. He said he knew where he was going and that I needed to tell him I would go to Italy and that knowing I was there, he knew it was OK to go...to die...to pass. He told me he loved me more than anything and that my happiness was more important to him than hanging around being a burden.  I lost it at that.

We snuggled, talked about all the stuff we had done in our marriage, the bad, the ugly and the very, very good.  There was nothing left unsaid between us. Our marriage was rock-solid. We were the very best of partners; but I still wasn't going to go to Italy.  I planned on telling Linda we needed to cancel the next day at work. Linda understood.  Was it fate that I could not reach the travel agency to cancel?  I don't know. Was it God through John?  I don't know.  I was not able to cancel.

Two days before I left he said he didn't see any suitcases being packed. I got the suitcases down and began packing. He asked me to read my itinerary to him and to tell him all the places I was going to go. So, I did.  I didn't sleep that night.

The day before I left I was home taking care of John with Tyler.  He said he was trying to die and to leave him alone and quit hovering. If ever, in my sobriety, I was going to drink, it was that day. So, I fixed a cup of coffee and finished packing and went outside and cried.

My dogs sat with me. Tucker was a joyful, bouncing dog, but Marley, whom we knew was ill, wanted to be with John. I let him into the house and he laid on his hospice bed with him.

The Martin's came over, Hospice visited, and all I could do was watch this like an out of body experience.  I looked at everyone and said, I'm not going, Linda will understand.  John's eyes popped open and he said he wanted to die knowing I was in Italy..get on the darn plane and go.

1 hour before Tyler took me to the airport, I laid down with John. We had said everything there was to say; we left nothing on the table. When Tyler told me I had to go, My John looked at me and said, he'd see me on the other side and I know your name.

I went to Italy.  Two days after I left, John died on his terms.  He passed from my mortal life into a place where good spirits live and I have no doubt that I will see him when he calls my name.

Moving on and remembering to breathe. What now, God?

John Run For The Wall May 2017. Standing for the song, "God Bless the USA"

2017 - an incredible year with my John...

May 2017 - December 2017

Immunotherapy is being advertised by the pharmaceutecals as "the" treatment for Cancer patients. Let me say this, it gave John an incredible year.  It gave us time.

The progression of his disease seemed to stop in mid-progression as we saw in the scans after only 3 weeks of weekly treatments. We began having hope once again and made plans to ride our motorcycle trike on the 2017 Run For The Wall, as well as other outings.

The anticipation of the Run became all-consuming for both of us, but more so for John. How do you pack 10 days work of special liquid food, medications, etc. on a motorcycle?  You don't. We decided to take our truck and share riding the bike and driving the truck. This was not a decision John was happy with.  I think we both knew that this trip was going to be his/our last together on the bike and he wanted to make the journey riding the wind and not sitting in the truck. To say it was tense in our home would be an understatement.

My brother, Mario and two of his close friends joined the Run riding down from Washington State. We hooked up with them in Odessa, TX, and when I saw my brother, I bawled! He had been trying to make the Run for 7 years and to actually see him, give him a hug and cry with him is a memory I hold dear.

Paul, Mario and Jim

The Run was horrible.  The weather gods did not cooperate and it poured buckets on us most of the time.  The constant rain made it miserable for all of us; especially John. Afraid of catching pneumonia, he was forced to ride in the truck except for a few short legs where the sun shone and the temperature rose.  Needless to say, he was not a happy camper and neither was I. After three days, we talked and I told him to get on the bike and ride; and so he did.


The RFTW team had made sure that John could ride in the Missing Man formation in Mississippi riding into Jacksonville Harley Davidson.  My brother, Mario, would be his companion in formation.
Seeing John ride into Jacksonville HD in a light drizzle along side my brother, was an unbelievably emotional experience. When he got off the bike, the sun came out, the temperature soared and as he got out of his rain gear, he took me aside and said, (reading his lips), I rode for me, I won't be here next year. Holding each other and crying, we both knew the truth of his words.

Mario, John and Paul

John and I were invited to join the Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff: General Dunsford at the Marine Corps Commandant home in Washington DC for party and dinner. I admit, I was in awe of the five star General. John said he put his pants on the same way he did. But, when the General talked to John, thanked him for his service and saluted My John, I was brought to tears.  John simply said, it was his honor to have served.

John, Me and The General

After visiting the Washington Memorial Park with my John, my brother and his two friends, it was time to say goodbye to DC.  Mario and his friends left, our friend, Chuck, flew in to ride our trike back, I said see you soon to John and boarded the plane for home.  I left John and the truck in the parking lot of the hotel to take his time driving home.  I knew he had to be back by a specific date for his next treatment.

John took his time driving back as he went through Georgia to see both of his brothers and their families.  He arrive home safe and sound.

At the end of June, John drove the truck to Vermont to see his daughter and her family who came in from Maui where they live to see relatives and visit friends. He fished  in Vermont lakes, caught the wily creatures, and more importantly connected with family.  Leaving Vermont, he swung down through Illinois to see his sisters and their families and after three weeks on the road and in time for another treatment, he arrived home.

Grandaughter's Tegan, and Makenna, John and daughter Dani

October rolled around and another adventure called to both of us.  I flew to Las Vegas to meet with Tyler and the grandkids and attend a nephew's wedding.  John drove the truck. Although we had a wonderful time with family, I could tell that he was more tired than usual and opted out of attending the wedding. When it came time for him to drive home, he was anxious to be on the road and made sure I knew his route and schedule. After he left, family told me that he had talked to each of them and said he loved them and that he most likely would not see them again. He told them he had had an incredible life and that they all had played a part in his story and that he was grateful for them. They said he told them not to cry, but to be happy and to live their lives in happiness.

Grandson, Eli, Papa John, Son-Tyler, Grandaughter, Lizzy 

 Ewanda-married to Jae, Uncle John, Son Jae and Me

John, Son-Tyler and daughter, Erin

My family told me this and also tole me that he was a remarkable influence in their lives and it was an honor to have known him. I don't know about you, but I was overwhelmed with emotion.  It was the last adventure John took.

The immunotherapy quit working sometime in November, 2017. And John wanted to make one last try with chemo. We left for MD Anderson where we were told that he could have three more months of Chemo, but that was it. We knew it wasn't going to cure him - just prolong his life.  He said he wanted to try the chemo.

Christmas is a blur - wasn't very jolly.  Most of our friends said to have hope, but John and i share the same personality trait...we are realists.

Oh where, oh where have I been???

It's been a very strange two years. Two years of my life that at times seemed to drag and absolutely stand still - and two years that went by all too fast. Too fast to grab the rail of life as it twirled me from hope to despair back to hope.

My last post was full of hope. Hope that John's cancer would be arrested and we could get on with our lives. Well, that simply was not to be.

After he underwent his second surgery at MD Anderson, he went back to Houston two months later and underwent an 8 week regimen of concurrent chemo and radiation. Brutal.  But, he never complained.  He never said, this isn't fair.  He never told me he was in any pain.  He just smiled and said he was good.  Liar.

John came home from Houston July 4th weekend and looked good.  He was eating food and feeling energetic. We believed the cancer was gone.  Liar...the cancer lied.

In September he began having strange spasms. We would find him on the floor sitting up or laying down. When we asked him why he was on the floor, he said he was tired and just wanted to lay down.  Say WHAT?? The occurrences were not regular, but on one occasion, we witnessed it and it scared me.

After spending almost a week in the hospital, where he was mis diagnosed with seizures, I began to suspicion the tumor was on the move. That was confirmed when the spasms began more frequently.

John was scheduled for his 6 month check at MD Anderson in November and while in the plane, he had a violent spasm.  The pilot called for an ambulance upon arrival and we were whisked to MD Anderson.

5 days later, after numerous tests and teams, the cancer team came in, read his charts, reviewed the scans and gave us the news that the tumor was back and had once again wrapped around his carotdid artery.  He could have no more surgery and no more radiation or chemo. Basically, there was nothing they could do...except....

The head of the Oncology Department called right after we received the grim news and offered John immunotherapy.  We went home with our directions to call John's oncologist. We had to wait an agonizing 5 weeks before treatments could begin.

January 11, John started immunotherapy.  But...wait!  2017 rolled us into 1 incredible year.

rolling...rolling keep those dimes a rolling....

My life continues to roll with the punches that life throws my way.  After all, it is the only thing I can do under the circumstances. Giving up is not an option.

John and I spent a week at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston last week, where he underwent another cancerous tumor removal. Sigh.

I wish I could say it was an overwhelming positive experience; but how can I...REALLY?

Cancer is big business. For those of you whom the "darkness" had touched, let me tell you, don't mess around...go to MD Anderson if at all possible.  The place is like a small city with over 213 buildings spread over 1300 acres and employing over 20,000 people.  Jeesh...it's huge.

Can you be happy in a hospital filled with people going through or ending various stages of different cancers?  I think you can.  However, I was not one of them.  I'm being real and honest, here.

It was an overwhelming experience to be touched by MD Anderson.  Most of the employed are happy and upbeat, which helped when I felt like a lost rat in the maze of life.  People stepped forward, showed me that I wasn't lost and directed me to the correct elevator for where I needed to be. The food was tolerable. The overall building was cold and one day my elevator - elevator E to the 11th floor, did not work. Fortunately, the tower is equipped with a secondary elevator for staff and transporting patients.  Eleven floors would have not made a happy Pat.

John's second tumor was wrapped around his carotid artery, but was removed successfully.  He is on observation...cancer free.  However, this does not include findings of anything smaller than they can see using various magnifying loops. For my husband...I wanted the Hubble...deep space looking.  I got the surgeon's loop.

The care John received was phenomenal. His team of folk rose to the occasion giving instructions, information for after care and prognosis of care which includes speech pathology where John can learn to talk again. This was and is exciting.

We left a week later feeling confident that John would not only heal, but would have a quality of life touching on normal.  We know he is not out of the cancer forest yet as the surgeons have agreed he will need either or both radiation and chemo after he heels.  It's a nasty cancer bug...duh!

What is my take on this, the latest chapter?  It still sux. I cannot kid you and tell you I am fine with all of this, for I am not. But what I am is this:  undaunted and resolute.

I am undaunted by the mass of information and processes we need to ingest.  I am undaunted by the nagging fear in the back of my head (which sometimes moves to center stage). I am undaunted in the energy I need to dig up from a weary me.  I just gotta plow through.

I am resolute to continue to talk to my Higher Power, God. I am resolute to not lay blame or be angry for more than the time it takes me to say, "Hi God, me again...need a little help, here." I am resolute to love my husband no matter frickin' what comes down the path.  I am resolute to continue my mantra of:  I am Strong, I am Brave and I am Courageous! But, most of all, I want to read and say out loud the Serenity Prayer, that I now wear around my neck, every day with the conviction to say, God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

life just happened...and right now it is crap

I don't know how or why life happens the way it does, but when whatever IT is happens, it disrupts. This time, when it happened, IT came crashing down like so many tons of bad baggage.  You know...the crap we carry around with us. But, it wasn't my baggage.  It was my husband's, John.

Let me begin at what I think is the beginning.  My husband, John, spent 21 years in the Marine Corps before retiring. During the time he was in the Marines, he was in Vietnam with a whole bunch of young men (and women - nurses). Our government was so wise in trying to figure out how to rout the N. Vietnamese out of the bushes, that they dumped Agent Orange all over the jungle in hopes of defoliating it and hence..finding the enemy easier. Well, Agent Orange got dumped on people as well as trees and bushes. The effects of Agent Orange were disputed by the US Government. WHY?Well, we lost the war. Thousands of Vets returned and the government did not acknowledge their symptoms as a result of Agent Orange.

Fast forward spring 2015.  John's voice began to deteriorate and after consulting a doctor, it was determined that he had throat cancer. A strange type of cancer - aggressive - resistant to normal treatments. He tippy-toed around the obvious and finally said, this type of cancer is directly related to Agent Orange. The doctor opted for radiation and all was good for about three months and the voice deteriorated again. This time, the tumor had grown back to a stage 3 tumor that had to be surgically removed.  Ooohrah...

October 19, 2015, the surgeon removed the tumor as well as John's voice box, surrounding lymph and having only found 1 little, bitty lymph with cancer (which was removed), pronounced John clear.

The recovery was brutal and frustrating as John can no longer speak. He's a good speller - so he writes. We told ourselves, this is little price to pay for his declaration of cancer free.

John started chemo this past Wednesday almost three months to the day he was pronounced free of cancer. This sux.

The new tumor, it seems was a nodule on a scan...nothing to worry about...thought the surgeon. And besides, this type of cancer doesn't jump around...so, the nodule couldn't be cancer, right?

We sat in the doctor's office with our faces like stone.  In fact, I wanted to become a stone and hurl myself at the doctor and his soft voice saying he hated to give us this news.  I went where angels fear to tread and I simply asked, "How could you miss this?"

I have declined to talk to anyone who wants to call this shit, a journey or a challenge.  I refuse to talk to people without looking at them like they are ignorant and completely delusional who believe that God has put John's feet on this path? SAY WHAT?

My belief in God, my Higher Power, does not believe that God orchestrates all of our moves and then waits to see what we do.  EEGADS...

If I believed in THAT kind of God, I would believe, then, that none of the choices I have made have anything to do with my brain. THAT kind of God sits where ever he/she sits and moves us from chessboard square to chessboard square according to his whim. The Mythological Gods, like Zeus, did that.  Nope.  I don't buy it at all.

My God allows me the dignity to think and make my own choices to take whatever path is laid before me.  His hand is always there for me to reach out and hold, but I do not for one itty, bitty nano second believe he chooses our paths. For if I believed that, I would have to ask him/her why he gives people paths that cause pain, suffering and death. A common question thought by those who are agnostic and atheist. I am neither.

I fully believe that God gave us brains to make decisions. What we do with those decisions and how we react in the situations define us as human beings and allow us to ask God for direction. And once through the situation, we can give our thanks and gratitude to him for never abandoning us.

The Life is life on Life's terms mantra, does not diminish my faith or my trust in my Higher Power, my God.  It allows me to be real about God, not get burned out on a God who may choose to set my feet on paths that are crap. I reject that God and embrace the God who never said their wouldn't be dark valleys, but that he would always be there walking along side of us...waiting for the call.

A puppy named Belton

We have decided it's been enough time since Jazzy passed to introduce a new dog to Marley.  Life as I know it is about to change with the addition of a new dog. I think I'm up to this.

Belton is a parti-colored Standard Poodle - 5 months old. Pretty boy!

We will bring him home the first of September. Right now, I am re-learning puppy nutrition, crate training and trying to figure out how not to traumatize him or Marley as well as potty training. I'll keep you posted on how all of that works when he comes home to Odessa from Arkansas.

Shot Down in a Blaze of Glory.....

It was pouring down rain...I mean a real gusher of rain.  John and Eli were suppose to hop on the Spyder and ride it to Capitan, Lincoln and then into Odessa, but plans changed when they were both wet in 5 minutes. Eli got into the car with Lizzy and me, and John got grumpy..real fast. After I pointed out the fact that he knew it was going to rain and didn't pack accordingly....he hunkered down. The rain didn't last long.

1st stop was the home of  Smokey The Bear in Capitan, NM.  I'd been here before, but loved seeing it through the kids eyes. I mean, who doesn't love Smokey The Bear?

 Smokey's final resting place Inside the beautiful Smokey The Bear Historical Park

The sun was out...John dried out and we headed up the road just a few miles to Lincoln County, NM. This is the sight of the historical Lincoln County Wars where Billy The Kid was part of the problem or solution depending on which history you want to believe. Anyway...always fun to learn more about the American West and a folk lore legend...

Old Lincoln County Courthouse.  It's been restored and is full of many interesting facts which include a time line of events.

Not far from home, now....I can smell the dirt.  After lunch in Carlsbad...we rolled the back roads into Seminole, hit Andrews - where John stopped at Cpl. Rays for coffee and we pushed on to Odessa, TX The end of our journey...an epic trip, for sure.

Heading for Texas...or where am I today?

After so many days riding Dolly and being adventuresome, Lizzy and I turned the bike toward the East out of Camp Verde and headed for Springerville, NM where we stayed one night before mushing into Ruidoso, NM where we will hook up with hubby and Eli.

The weather is gorgeous, finally not too blazing hot as we left Camp Verde and headed for our first stop in Pine, AZ on Highway 260 East. That was a pretty road.  I'd do that road again in a heart beat.  Plenty of wide open areas with a few sweeps and twisties thrown in for fun. We fueled and got fresh water in Pine and then ventured forth toward Springerville, NM.  The road was great...not too much traffic and plenty of beautiful mountains to see...with green trees!

Springerville found us at a nice motel right off the main road with a great little cafe right next door.
The free breakfast was pretty good and while eating, I started a conversation with a couple who were from South Africa and Rhodesia. After telling them about Lizzy's interest in foreign languages and cultures, they said they would love to meet her.  It was very cool to see Lizzy being talked to in Zulu and in Africanz.  Lizzy was pretty impressed and added those to languages to her journal of languages and cultures that she has now met and heard.

We headed to Ruidoso, NM with the end in sight..well after a 327 mile trip, that is.  This was the long stretch at the end of the trip, but we just had hunker down and do it.

Pie Town was interesting...nothing there except two pie shops and a small gift store.  We went into the gift shop, bought some small items and visited with the owners before having a piece of pie at the Pio-Neer.  I had peach with raspberry.  It was, by my pie standards, just OK.  Off we go to San Antonio, NM where we picked up Highway 380.  HOT!  HOT!  HOT. The store attendant where we fueled said the freeway entrance to Highway 380 was closed and gave us directions to go around. Well....the directions may have worked at one time, but 15 minutes later the road ended in a dead end and we had to turn around and go back...it's HOT!!  Turns out, the entrance was not closed and we scooted onto Highway 380 toward our destination of Ruidoso, NM.

Stars and Stones....as we wind into Ruidoso it was raining.  Not hard...but definitely rain. We are dirty, tired and hungry...pizza room service!

Eli and John arrived around 9:30...warmed up pizza, took showers, watched a little TV...we all crashed! We head for Billy the Kid trail and home of Smokey The Bear tomorrow before arriving at home.  Last night on the road.

Grand Canyon Ride - The Zip Line or how I thought I would die!

So...OK....Zip Line.  I am a woman of my word, unfortunately in this case.  I signed Lizzy and I up for a 2 hour zip line tour at Out of Africa Wildlife Park in Camp Verde, AZ. The name of the zip line is the Predator. But, let's back up before I share my terror with you.  Leaving Sedona.

Sedona is a city that I really don't care to go back to unless I'm in a car. Then, I'd like to poke my nose around in the touristy little shops and spend money on things that when I get them home, I wonder why I bought them.

Camp Verde is only 32 miles from Sedona...piece of cake.  I ask Google to give me directions and it does. The map shows a nice road off the freeway so we decide to take it.  We launch without breakfast...we'll get something on the way out of Sedona as our check in time at the zip is 9:00am.
Reverse is still twitchy and I found that I had put Dolly in a position where I couldn't make a big old circle to turn. We are at a gas station fueling and eating donuts and I spy two hunky dudes whom I recruit to turn it around. Once turned...we were off in search of the back road into Camp Verde, AZ.

What we found was a pretty road with overhanging trees and a dead end. Google promptly told me to turn around. Well, DUH!!!! After turning around in the middle of a forest road with a big old sign that says..DEAD END, we headed back the way we came and got on the freeway, took the correct exit and found our way to the park.  Phew...we are ahead of 9:00am. Sweet!  NOT!  The guys didn't show up until 9:45 as we sat around in the hot morning sun.  OK..they show up.

After a safety briefing and fitting of our harness, we followed our two guides to the wooden stairs that switch backed all the way up 120 feet.  Needless to say, I was the last one up to the launching pad..well, one of the guides was behind me.  OK...my fear is evident on so many levels that my brain is in overload.  if the stairs were any indication of what was ahead....

Awrighty then....the platform is fenced on three sides. Sitting close to the edge of the open launch side is a big, sturdy wooden box, which, I am told is where we launch.  From the moment I reach the platform, I begin to shake and I can't let go of the guide who followed me up the stairs. I will saylet like I was going to fall from the platform..the safety was never a concern as we were always hooked onto at least two points of cable or the platform at the same time. that wasn't the fearful part for me. Plain and simple...it's stepping off the launch box into thin air that scared me to tears.  OK..my turn to go.

I make sure the guide goes over the procedure one more...no...two...no..three more times.  I shake like a quaking Maple tree as I stepped onto the launch box...never letting go of the guide.  I sat down into the harness and told him to push......

I didn't die...I didn't fall off the cable and most importantly...I didn't puke.

After three lines, we came to a rope bridge that was 40' long. WHAT????? After three zip lines, I was feeling pretty good ...I never warmed up to the platform, but the launching from the box, did not bother me after three zips...then comes the rope bridge...my fears elevate off the chart!

They made me go first.  OK...I'll go, but by my controlling rules:  Guide goes in front of me...no wigging....takes baby steps...I hold on to guide with left hand and the rope bridge with my right hand...I get to curse.... I didn't die...I thought I would, but I didn't. Phew!  Two more lines to go and by the time, it was over, my body was stressed, I couldn't talk, barely could walk.  My endorphines had maxed out and all I wanted to do was piddle.

Lizzy loved every minute of it. Every daredevilish thrill...upside down....et, al...she loved it. Does that fact make my fearful experience any better?  NO. But, I am happy for her. Will I ever do it again? NO.  I can embrace what I don't like and I am fine with that!

We've turned the corner...time to head for home.....

...off the Canyon and seriously stupid in Sedona..

Up and off early. I wanted to get through the desert before it heated up.  We made really good time on Dolly but ran into three road construction crews that added three different wait times of over 30 minutes each..in the desert..in the sun at 106'.

We stopped at Cameron Trading Post for lunch...a grateful meal..and then headed out to what would become another bad idea in the history of bad ideas...file this in the Cosmos.

I surprised Lizzy while we were eating at Cameron's that we would side trip to Sedona before going to Camp Verde for the night and see Jurassic World! Needless to say she was ecstatic. Piece of cake getting to Sedona. .right....

More road work..exits that are closed.. detours. Long waits in heat. My body is starting to feel stressed and all of a sudden we are on the road leading into Sedona and it is winding with hair pin curves and non existent guard rails.  My back hurts and my arms ache when we finally get off the mountain.  No. .I did not look at the red cliffs. .I was to busy trying not to fall of one of those red cliffs and fly off into the abyss.

I told Lizzy I couldn't  make it to Camp Verde and we would stay in Sedona.  No vacancy signs everywhere except for 1 room at the Star Motel.  The manager was so helpful. .gave me a glass of lemon water..had me sit down and helped carry our stuff off Dolly.

After cancelling the Camp Verde hotel..a rest and a shower, we got directions for the movie theater. Enter the bad idea for the Cosmos.  Well..diverting to Sedona was one, too.  I forgot to ask which way out of motel ..left or right. I went Right which was wrong.

Say WHAT???

We went for a long way until I felt it was all wrong and stopped for directions..gotem..here we go. It was then that I realized how spread out Sedona is..we found the theater..got our tickets and went into auditorium #2..the movie was almost over...WHAT? I was informed we were an hour early. ..somewhere we had gone through a time zone change. After waiting  almost an hour in the lobby..the  movie started and Lizzy and I were wowed all over again. It's now 7:01 pm and we head out for the motel and I go the wrong way on the road....totally turned around..I don't know where we are. I turn around and go the other way but that doesn't feel right either. Seriously tired and very disoriented (it's the Aliens)..I feel a good cry coming  on when I see a Police sign and pull into the wrong driveway...that gets fixed..the Police helped..but here is the kicker...I couldn't tell them the name of the motel..because I didn't know it. The room key didn't give the name and all my check in paper work was in our room. Idiot check. The Officer got me to the  tourist trap area and that was good enough..Lizzy spotted it and we were back..with absolutely little help from me. After walking a block and having a good Dinner..we crashed...directions only get worse in the morning....

Last day in the Canyon at Jacob Lake Inn

I mentioned in a previous post that Jacobs Lake Inn was a great experience and our last night there..I treated myself to a great massage. At this point in our travels...I needed it. Everything about the Inn was great from the friendly check in desk to the little bakery with the best lemon zucchini cookie I ever ate..to the menu and all the food that came out of the kitchen...to the well stocked gift shops..the rooms..the cute cabins..nature trail and old wooden buildings tucked into the woods..perfect! But the thing that pulls it all together is the people who own it and the staff of friendly returned Missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christmas of Latter Day Saints: The Mormons. NO matter what these folk know how to work hard and be happy at the same time giving grateful service. Two thumbs up for Jacob Lake Inn.

Bonding with Dolly

Mule riding day was great..except for the part where w ewe really so close to the rim that I cried. They didn'tel me about THAT part.

OK..here's how this works with me..I cry a lot; especially over gushy family and animal commercials on TV. I also cry when my nerves are raw and I'm in a creepy..scary situation.

Lizzy and I got to the North Rim with Buffalo incident and we're picked up precisely on time to go the mule spot. After a safety briefing, the Wrangler told us he would pick our mounts and out us in order of which mules got along. OK..I get that. My Mule name was Dolly..a sure footed intelligent Mule, indeed. Lizzy rode Hazel.

As we left the paddock with two Wranglers..one in front and one in back, we were told our pictures would betaken...OK...WELL THE MOST SCENIC BACKGROUND. IS...NO..NO BACKGROUND. just the sheer cliffs..right next to my Mules feer. Holy up to highBatman...AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE FOR MY NERVOUS BLADDER, WEARE GOING UP A HILL WHEN EACH ONE OF US IS TO TO STOP FOR PICTURE...STOP??? Just get me the heck way from the edge and off the stupid hill. I was not happy. Lizzy asked me why I was scared..with a teenage smerk..I promptly told her to shut up.

There were three more moments of sheer terror..including going down the same hill where AGAIN THE WRANGLER STOPPED US ALONA SIDE THE RIM AND GAVE US I STRUCTURES OF WHT TO DO AT CORRAL. REALLY????? Get me off the hill!!!!!

When we wound through the forest raiks...I really enjoyed the rI bonded with Dollyand was happy I was on an experienced Mule. It was actually fun Watchung her think through the trail and pick her steps. I liked Dolly.

Lizzy ride Hazel who was a bit lazy until we turned for home, All in all Mule riding day was a big success and garnered me more Cool Grandma remarks.

In honor of Dolly, I renamed my Spyder, Dolly.

PS..no photos..the interface be teen phone and tablet is not working. Once I figure it out..I will edit posts and insrt.

North rim sunset and a bad idea

So..there is probably some type of file for the history of bad ideas. I'm pretty sure it's somewhere out in the Cosmos right now..I need to file one in it....sigh...

As adventures in motorcycling go..this one really has been pretty darned tame..that's really a good thing. So why did I not think that Sunset meant DARK? But, I digress....let's start at the beginning.

 Cameron Trading Post...a welcome sight after leaving the Canyon through the East entrance.

 The view from our room...the room was gorgeous

Dining room served great food. By the time we got here...we both were starved!

Let me begin at the beginning.  We spent the day on the South Rim doing the regular touristy things...hiked a little and took the shuttle to various look outs. Very crowded on the South Rim and after waiting in line for shuttles and bumping into people, we left in mid-afternoon in the heat of the day by way of the East entrance.  The first part of the trip...while still on the Canyon, was gorgeous ...but as soon as we dropped onto the lower elevations, the heat was very intense.  I kept looking at my watch, knowing it should only take us about 1.5 hours to get to Cameron trading Post and it seemed that the time literally stood still in the heat. To make matters worse, the wind was fairly strong and I was behind a family creepy crawling along at a snails pace.

When we pulled out onto Highway 89 and turned the corner...there it was: The Cameron Trading Post. We were surprised at the size of it...much bigger than the pictures showed. Both of us were a bit overheated, so we sat in the dining room and had water with lemon until our bodies adjusted.

After checking into our room, taking showers and resting we were ready for dinner and some shopping in the well-stocked store.

We spent our 4th night (Sunday) tucked into a beautiful room surrounded by comforters and big down pillows. We slept late..ate a great breakfast and headed out across one more hot desert in pursuit of our next destination of Jacobs Lake Inn..just 56 miles from the North Rim.

The scenery was a whole lot of desert until we got to Lee's Ferry..just a few miles from there we wound up t o the 7000+ elevation and found the road winding through a pine forest where the temperature dropped considerably. ..YAY! And the bridge? Yeah a bridge goes over that area of the canyon...a really tall bridge with the bottom...Avery long way down..don't like bridges..Skerd..of heights, I am.

Navajo Bridge at Lees' Ferry...creepy.

Jacob Lake Inn is great..good people..good food..good room. After resting and Watcihng Jurassic Park 2 on TV...we headed out to see the sunset on the rim.

Just before we got to the park entrance...there off to the right a long way off was a very large herd of Buffalo. We slowed down to take a look, but they were not very close.  However, we could see babies, moms and the bulls. Even from a distance, those suckers are huge.

The road was good, even though it was curvy...which I like..but..it had a lot of signs saying...deer...cow...elk...and buffalo. We saw the buffalo herd way off in the distance...which was cool to know they roamed free. Even from a distance...they are huge.

O' see the Buffalo roam...

The North Rim sunset met both Lizzy and my expectation and we took alot of photos.

The lodge deck/veranda was packed with people drinking wine and eating and Lizzy was thrilled to meet people from Paris and we enjoyed talking with them...ok...sunset over. Let's head to Jacob Lake In and the sandwiches waiting for us in our room. It's dark..it's. Cold. OK only 56 miles, huh?

Did I mention...I can't see in the dark? Well..I can see..just not very good..my windshield is full of bugs..my face shield is dirty and I'm driving on a dark forest road that is curvy with animal signs. Not a good combo. Lizzy shouts in the communication headset..BUFFALO!!!!!!!!

I did not see the herd standing alongside the road until we had passed them. Lizzy says that was the coolest thing EVER...wanna turn around and go see again? Enter the history of bad ideas...we turn around..the Buffalo are stampeding across the highway..all 40 to 50 of them..with nothing between us and them..I'm a little twitchy.

My reverse gear is twitchy..I can't turn around again and head down the mountain...We go forward to a place where I can turn around..what's up with reverse gear??????

Slowly we approach the area where they were and Lizzy yells again..."Grandma....BUFFALO!"

Wait...wrong Buffalo....here's the one:

AUK! They are right along side of the Spyder eyeball to eyeball with Lizzy..which means if I turn my head to the right and dare a peek to the side of the road...they will be eyeball to eyeball with me. I look..I am now wondering where this idea is in the HISTORY of REALLY BAD IDEAS.

I move forward about 30 feet and come to an abrupt stop..more screaming from Lizzy..don't be dramatic, dear..it's only a herd of Buffalo standing in the road..blocking us from any forward motion. At this point..I have to go potty.

I think the Buffalo got up today and decided to play with the tourists...they crossed..stood in the middle and crossed and recrossed  ..for 45 minutes. Finally a guy in a car in the line behind me..passed and got in Front me..where he sat. I think...hmmm..safety in numbers and I slowly creep up behind him..the Buffalo can hit him first..I'm thinking. The Buffalo play on the road for a few more minutes until they are in the oncoming lane and the car and I creep forward as the last Buffalo in line stops in the other lane.

The rest of the winding and very dark trip took us over an hour due to deer..inroad..along side road..ready to leap in front of us..or like the Buffalo...just standing in the middle of the road.  I gave up counting them when the numbers climbed into the 70's.

Seeing our hotel sign never looked so good. Lizzy thought it was a great adventure..very cool and all that and secretly..so did I.