So Many Books and Words to Discover...with Family

My nightstand is a mess. But, it suits me. Not that I like messes, but I am comforted by clutter of my understanding.  I understand my piles of books that start off on the nightstand and then cascade to the floor as I dig for my "cheater" glasses and a pen or pencil to write in the margins of the books I read.

One of the things that I can be happy about with my grown sons is their pure and absolute love of reading.  My husband reads and reads and reads. And, what is really most excellent is our grandchildren love to read as well.  All of us adults have our likes and favorite genre of book and sometimes they cross over into each other's territory as we try to be patient until the book is finished being read and is handed off to us.

I have two places where I read:  the living room wrapped in a quilt sitting in a comfy overstuffed chair surrounded by bookcases, my dogs, family pictures and collections of rag dolls and teddy bears.  When I read in the living room, I often do so in complete quiet and privacy (except for the dogs). So, my favorite place to read is my bedroom where I am often and happily interrupted while reading in bed, by anyone in the household who wants to ask what I am reading or to share something in a book they are reading. It is also common for Lizzy or Eli or both to come wandering down the hall and bound onto the bed with a book or books and either read along side me or ask for a story to be read to them. This is truly a blessing of the most profound interaction we can have as a family and I treasure these small but wonderful moments. The icing on the cake is watching Lizzy or Eli fall asleep, curled up under the covers, with thier arms around one of the dogs.

So far, we have not purchased Kindles and don't plan to in the near future; they just don't interest us. To us, there is someting soothing and comforting about holding a book.  It's an interaction of the soul that I personally would not get from holding an electronic book. I mean, how can you write in the margins and turn down pages, stick a really cool book mark given to you by a friend or made out of old beads by your 9 year old granddaughter into the pages to mark a spot? Maybe if I didn't sit at a computer all day peering into it's screen, I'd feel differenly, but I don't think so.  I like the messy piles of books. They make me feel connected to the authors and the big cozy chairs or carpeted floor in a bookstore where I can sit and literally become lost in words and different worlds of time.

There are so many things to be grateful for as a parent.  OK...our adult children can be challenging, but I gotta tell you, there is nothing that pleases me more than to see either Jeff or Tyler go to a bookcase overflowing with books and find the "perfect" book. The book that opened their minds to the great, "What if..." in the world. The books that have done that for them are tattered, marked and written in. To watch them move their hands across the books looking for one that has a specific piece of history in it that they want to share with me and John makes my heart sing.  I made alot of mistakes with them; but knowing they developed their love of reading and books from me makes me feel like I did something right.

So, you ask, what are you reading, Pat?  This is my nightstand which is overflowing with books, a dog toy, hand lotion, socks I just took off, a cut glass bowl that holds cheater glasses, a tissue container and somewhere hiding behind the books is a pen and pad of paper.

I read multiple books at once and choose the one to snuggle up with depending on whatever it is I want to read.  Right now, I am trying to finish the book on the top left stack called, The Dog Who Spoke with Gods.  It's a brutal book about the inhumane practice of using dogs in labratory experiments for pharmecutecal companies.  I started the book 4 years ago and just couldn't get through it.  If I were to become an advocate for anything at this juncture in my life it would be to stop animal abuse by humans who declare themselves smart. But, I digress. Enslaved by Ducks is a silly read about a family living with all manner of ducks, geese and other fowl.  I pick it up after putting down the other book because it takes me to a happier place about caring for animals. Then, oddly enough, I want to go and have a conversation with our African Gray parrot, Joey.

Sailing the Wine Dark Sea is about Greek exploration of the seas. Although I detest boats bobbing on the ocean (can you say really seasick?), one of my passion reads is anything about the sea and early masted schooners. This is a scolarly read and makes me pay attention to every sentence. No Ellen Woods speed reading in this book!  I think I am enjoying the learning, but it's all Greek to me.

The pile on the right are my go-to books when I want to connect on a deep level of understanding about my dogs and my faith - hence, Isaiah For Airheads.  I mean, who can REALLY understand Isaiah without a guide? This book is my wonderful guide through the Isaiah national forest of all things wonderful.

I have a marvelous little book of spiritual poems called Ripples that I adore. There's also a book about the REAL Moby Dick titled, The Heart of the Sea.  Love this book.  Oh, I don't like the whaling industry one bit, but I love to read about the real Sperm whale ramming the ship in defense of his harem.  You go Moby!

The dog books range from absolute training, Control Unleashed, Don't Shoot the Dog and the Dog Vinci Code, to more heartfelt connecting when working and living with our dogs.  I pick up Suzanne Clothier's book, If Dogs Prayers Were Answered, Bones Would Rain From the Sky, at least twice a week to check my notes in the margins and to see if I've grown in patience and understanding with my dogs. So far, I'm doing pretty good; but there is always room to be better than I am today.  I depend on her words to measure my progress. She sets the bar very high, but I appreciate that.  To deepen my understanding and connection I have a book that truly gets to the heart of how much we humans need to learn about the other animals and that book is, The Emotional Lives of Animals.  There is much to learn. Sigh.....

I don't really have a Bucket List of books.  Having gradulated from college first majoring in English and American Literature, I've read just about every classic book I was told to read and some I just wanted to read. I'd like to revisit some of them, but not right now. Maybe those are the books I'll save and download onto a Kindle. Dunno 'bout that, or when or if it will ever be a Kindle in the future, but I do think downsizing to a smaller home or living as a vagabond will have something to do with that.  Until then, I look forward to snuggling into bed surrounded by multiple quilts and pillows, three dogs, a cup of tea and my piles of books -some like old friends, warm and comforting full of margins of notes containing the thoughts and musings of my life on this journey.....and, oh yeah, family.

Once Upon a Time in the land of Uz...

... there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. His life was full for he had with him family, land, livestock and servants. Indeed, he was the greatest man among all the people of the East.

One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”  Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it looking for an upright man” Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” 

Satan answered, “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

The LORD said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.”

Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and wreaked havoc upon Job.

Job travailed through adversity but never "dissed" the name of God. After much and many problems and adveristy, friends came upon Job, convinced that he had committed great sin before God for it was beyond their comprehension that God would allow great adversity to a righteous man.

Job speaks to his friends:

But where can wisdom be found?
   Where does understanding dwell?
No mortal comprehends its worth;
   it cannot be found in the land of the living.
The deep says, “It is not in me”;    the sea says, “It is not with me.”
It cannot be bought with the finest gold,
   nor can its price be weighed out in silver.

Destruction and Death say,
   “Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.”
God understands the way to it
   and he alone knows where it dwells,
for he views the ends of the earth
   and sees everything under the heavens.
When he established the force of the wind
   and measured out the waters,
when he made a decree for the rain    and a path for the thunderstorm,
then he looked at wisdom and appraised it;
   he confirmed it and tested it.
And he said to the human race,
   “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,
   and to shun evil is understanding.”

And God, out of the whirlwind of Job's despair answers,
"Do you give the horse his might? Do you clothe his neck with a mane ? Do you make him leap like the locust? His majestic snorting is terrible. He paws in the valley, and rejoices in his strength; He goes out to meet the weapons. He laughs at fear and is not dismayed; And he does not turn back from the sword.
The quiver rattles against him, The flashing spear and javelin.

With shaking and rage he races over the ground

And he does not stand still at the voice of the trumpet."

So, from the land of Uz comes this remembered lesson:
My life continues to experience life on lifes terms and that I am better than OK and,
it is more important to praise God when I am in the valley
more than when I am on top of the hill.
And like the magnificent and powerful horse into which God breathed life,
I will honor my strength and not be fearful and I will not shy away from the sword.

And when the trumpet sounds I will run my race and I will WIN!

 

..it aint about how hard you hit...it's about taking the hits and keep moving forward.

Awrighty, then. When my kids were little and I was sick, which was a rarity, I would pile up the Rocky movies 1-4, and watch them from my balcony seat on the couch. I love the movies because I am a complete sucker for the little guy overcoming odds and winning or better than winning, proving that he (substitute she), can work hard to overcome insurmountable odds.  When my kids got off the bus and came into the house and found me watching the Rocky movies they knew that something must be out of skew with mom. Such a barometer of me those movies have become.

There are other movies I watch when my mood or feelings need to be dragged out from a safe place within my heart and put on display where I can be vulnerable and open to whatever needs to happen to help me understand or to change. But, for me, there are only the Rocky movies for a total lift.

What do these movies mean to me?  These are movies we watch over and over again as a family. Each of us have our own reason for liking them. For my husband John, it is the choreographed boxing scenes cuz he used to box. For our son Jeff, it is the research he's done about the movies and getting involved in each of the characters. For Tyler it is just escapism and fun; just get it on, Dude! Me?  I just want to see two guys beating the heck out of each other and seeing the good guy redeem himself.  Until the recent Rocky Balboa, the last movie in the franchise, my favorite was Rocky IV.

In an exhibition match with Rocky's former friend, Apollo Creed, Drago, the Soviet Union champion, kills Apollo. But the match with Drago is more than redeeming the legacy of his friend, it's a match of strength, endurance and heart and it's the USA against Russia.  I love every minute of this movie (with the exception of the now dead soul singer James Brown...never liked him). I love the scenes pitting Rocky's primitive training techniques in the winter countryside of Russia against the high tech training in a polished gym with Drago and his Soviet team.  My body aches when I see Rocky (Stallone), do push ups and pull ups and seemingly elevate his body - a show of determination and strength and most of all the will of the human spirit. Against all odds, Rocky enters the ring to face Drago and he wins after grinding and punching through 15 rounds of blood and black eyes.

Rocky Balboa, the final (?) movie has become my friend.  Rocky has aged, his wife has died and his son doesn't like him very much. Rocky still has much to say about his life - he's just not done with who is is or who he once was. He agrees to an exhibition match with the current heavyweight world champion who has had easy matches where he has not had to "go the distance". Along comes Rocky.

But, there is more to this movie than Rocky's return to the ring:  his relationship with his son needs to be healed. His son is jealous of living in the big shadow of his dad.  In one of the best scenes in the movie his son, Robbie has confronted his dad in anger because Rocky has decided to participate in the exhibition match.

His son (a corporate executive in his 30s) is totally against the idea. His career is going nowhere and he blames his father for casting a big shadow over him. His friends make fun of him because of who his father is.
This is where the 60-year old Rocky gives his son a heart-to-heart reprimand about how he needs to stop blaming and take charge of his life. A saddened Rocky says he remembers when his son could fit in the palm of his hand. He says that he saw great potential in him and when he first started off in life, he did great. However,at some point, he changed. He lost his way and started blaming other things and people for his own misfortune. Telling him:

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.  But it ain’t about how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. It’s How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not point fingers and blame other people. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!”

Once again Rocky has inspired me to take the punch and keep moving forward.  It's not about stopping or quitting, it's about getting up when the dimes roll and the hits come and declaring at the top of my voice, "I'm not quitting.  I'm not going to let the world define who I am. I am the master of my own destiny, the captain of my life and I can take the hit and keep moving forward!" Thanks, Rocky!